Joyeux Noel
by whitetyger123
Summary: France gives England a present for Christmas! Hm, wonder what it will be... Warning inside. RP written by me and schoolgirl-cheesesculpture. Yaoi, M/M France/England. Rated M for a very good reason. And... Merry Christmas!


Alright, word to the wise, this story will possibly ruin everything Christmas, because that is just what France does. So yeah, don't hate us if you will never be able to drink eggnog again.

* * *

Walking up to his room, England was perfectly content to sleep away the dreaded Christmas day. Just him alone with his bed, a bottle of some kind of alcohol and a day to forget about just how much he was disappointed that all his colonies weren't going to bother visiting him. When he got to his room, his eyebrows furrowed slightly as he saw a large box in the middle of his room with a large bow on it.

England slowly got nearer to it, and saw that there was a cheesy Christmas card attached to the side. Well, this was certainly strange. A bit curious, he took it off the large box and opened it. Immediately, loud, tinny holiday music rang annoyingly throughout the room. Quickly, he read the message inside so he could shut it and turn the music off.

"I hope you enjoy your present! I love you~ -France" Arthur repeated to himself, groaning quietly. Just what would the frog decide was a good gift for him? His fear renewing itself, he slowly pulled off the lid and almost had a heart attack with what was in it.

Francis jumped up from the box, flinging his arms wide. He was, of course, only wearing a Santa hat and a red ribbon tied in a bow around his manhood. "Merry Christmas, _sourcils_! Be ready to have the best present of your boring life!"

"You almost gave me a heart attack!" England somehow refrained from yelling out any insults as he just looked away with a light blush. How did Francis even manage to get into his house without him knowing?

"A heart attack of loooooove~" He sang, taking of his Santa hat and tipping over the box so he could step out of it. Francis went closer to England, trapping him in a corner of the room. "Well, are you going to take the ribbon off your present?" He asked, indicating his cock.

Determinedly staring into the other in the eyes instead of looking farther south, he just snarled. "No I'm not! Normal people get each other socks or sweaters, not their body!" Not saying that deep, _deep _down he would totally jump the other nation, despite all their fights.

Taking a small step closer, France ground his need against Arthur's groin. "But that would be boring. And a stocking can't make you cum. Well, unless you are having sex with it, but that would be very awkward." And he would know. Then Frenchman had had sex with almost everything possible at one time or another.

Holding back a groan of desperation as his crotch was rubbed, England just snapped. "You _would_ know that. Now if you would please leave me alone..." He was effectively shut up as Francis grabbed his hips and ground his erection against his matching clothed one.

"Don't be like that, _mon amour_. I was crouched in that box for the last hour, and now I need something to help relieve the knot in my back, and nothing does that as well as making love." He lifted a hand and put it to England's cheek, pulling him into a kiss.

Kissing back for a few seconds, it wasn't until he felt Francis' tongue lightly run across his lips that he pulled back with a scowl. "I told you I want you out of my house, and I won't put u-mmm." He was silenced once more as Parisian nation's lips were once again on his own.

With practised hands, Francis started undoing England's pants, going right for his own Christmas present. Arthur gasped slightly, opening up his mouth for the invading tongue. "Shall we go to the bed?" France asked when they pulled away for air.

Pulling away from the kiss again, he thought for a second before answering. "Fine... But only if you promise this will be as Arthur and Francis, not England and France. Because I still bloody well hate your frog guts." The hand on his prick was highly distracting, but he prided himself for being able to get those sentences out.

Giving a laugh, France wrapped his arms around Arthur in a big hug. "You're right, that is more intimate. So I will be sure to call out Arthur when I cum, and you call out Francis, _d'accord?_" He lifted the Englishman up, carrying him to the bed.

"That's taking it too far." Arthur tried to struggle from the hold a bit before he was set down on his bed and France crawled on top of him with a wink. "I just meant that as nations we are expected to fight; and I do so with pleasure you git." He grumbled as Francis went to work on removing his pyjama top. "But as humans we would be allowed to be more... Intimate."

Eyes going wide, Francis looked at Arthur for a second before enveloping him in another hug. "Aw, you are so romantic! My heart is beating just from you saying that! I love you too, _mon petit chou_!" He quickly took off the rest of that annoying button up shirt that England was wearing so he could get him bare-chested.

"Don't you dare talk like that or I will stop you; whether it be just to walk away or cut off the organ you seem to constantly think with." Well, at this point even for him it would be difficult to stop. With France looking at him like that and the fact that they were both naked and hard, he could hardly breathe never mind live up to his threat.

"But it's Christmas! You wouldn't do that on Christmas." Of course, he had been threatening to do that for years, but never had. Practically everyone knew how empty of a threat it was. "You are definitely on the naughty list."

Trying to ignore the wandering hands on his body, England just pushed Francis over and straddled him. "Naughty list my arse." Before he could respond, he kissed him back ferociously, trying to get to the main act as soon as possible.

Pulling back, Francis lightly pushed him off. "Wait, I brought lube! Well, sort of..." He stood up and went to his box. Alright, so it wasn't exactly lube, but t'was the season, after all. And he had always wanted to try it out. So he grabbed the bottle that was lying on the bottom of the box and pulled it out.

"...What is it?" Arthur asked slowly, curious but at the same time nervous. It didn't quite look like lube, and the way he said his last statement made him a bit anxious. Really though, if all he got to do was rub desperately against the Frenchman, he probably would have jumped on the chance. Holidays or not, this was a gift he normally wouldn't have accepted.

"Eggnog!" He exclaimed, climbing onto the bed again. It was going to be so great! It was thicker than milk, so it should work nicely. Also, the smell would add a little something to the experience. But, he had not been able to find any normal eggnog at his house, so he was forced to bring some with a little bit of vodka in it.

It took a second before Arthur narrowed his eyes. "Wait... You're saying that you want to use eggnog... As lube... Are you out of your bloody mind?" If he though of any other weird, holiday related things, Arthur would be forced to kick him out of his room and wank himself off. Not that he would ever admit to doing things like that.

"It will work fine! I have used much worse things as lube before. Don't even get me started on mayonnaise. It gets everywhere. And the idea to use chocolate always seems better than when you are actually using it." He could go on, listing the thing he had used, but he didn't, because he was considerate of other's feelings.

Pulling the other man in for a kiss, England felt the stubble on the other chin as he tried to shut him up. "Shut up and use it then. I'm willing right now but in a few seconds I won't be as accommodating."

Smirking, the Frenchman opened the bottle and lifted Arthur's legs up. Then he poured the eggnog right onto his hole, letting it drip onto the sheets. He could wash those later. He took one finger, slipping it into his entrance. Then he pulled it open slightly, pouring more eggnog inside. "How do you feel, Arthur?"

"Awkward to say the least." He answered harshly, blushing a bit as the drink was poured into him. It was going to be near-impossible for him to ever drink the stuff after this without a forest fire of heat erupting on his face.

Adding the second finger, which made it easier to pour the drink inside, Francis gave a laugh. "After this, I will love drinking eggnog." Yes, every time he would remember England's cute face, and the nice colour of his puckered entrance as the cream coloured liquid was poured inside.

The strange feeling only intensified as his hole was stretched wider. Arthur hadn't really payed too much attention to it, but he had started to feel almost light headed and somewhat drunk. "Is it spiked?" That would explain the pleasant buzz in the back of his mind that was slowly but surely growing larger.

"Um..." France paused, and then bent his head and put his face right up to the hole his fingers were invading, not wanting to answer. Instead, he darted out his tongue, licking a drop of the liquid, feeling the slight burning sensation on his tongue from the alcohol.

"It is, isn't it you wanker!" England yelled out. Still, he didn't make a move to get out of the other's grasp. Really, it was starting to feel good; the slight burn as his arse was stretched and the alcohol buzz. He had heard that people got drunk easily when alcohol was put _there_ but he would have never tried it out.

Pretending he hadn't heard, France started licking right around where his fingers were entering, lapping up the eggnog. It tasted better off Arthur's body than just from a glass. Perhaps he should eat and drink everything off of him.

A small moan escaped his lips as the tongue continued to lick around his hole. Added with his feeling of being drunk, and England was starting to get harder. "Are you going to get on with it, or continue with your insistent teasing?"

Francis kept licking, telling himself that 'insistent teasing' was the best part. He personally loved foreplay, so it was a shame that Arthur always wanted to get to it as fast as possible. So he slowly added a third finger, darting his tongue in slightly.

Taking the silence as France saying he wanted to continue his teasing, Arthur decided to just let him do whatever the bloody hell he wanted. At this point, he would barely be able to get himself off if his life depended on it, the alcohol was affecting him so much.

Reaching up his free hand, Francis started plucking lightly on England's hard nipples. He had seemed to relax more, so the alcohol must have been working, although that was not his original intension. The blond was always much easier to deal with when he was drunk, anyways.

An insult was about to escape England mouth until a pinch to his nipples made him moan. "Just because I'm doing this now..." He stopped talking mid sentence, seemingly forgetting what he was going to say until he picked right back up, "doesn't mean I'll do it ever again."

Keeping his face right where it was, but taking his tongue out so he could speak, Francis sang, "But we have done it so many times already~" He took the bottle of eggnog, adding more. Then he took out his fingers, moving his whole body so he was hovering on top of the Englishman.

"What ar' ya looking at?" Arthur asked roughly as France hovered over him, not doing anything. He swallowed nervously; his skin feeling slick already. A large alcohol induced blush covered his face as he continued to stare up at the other nation. Before he could forget, he quickly undid the bow off of France's prick without drawing attention to the fact.

"I'm looking at an angel. Are you here for Christmas, perhaps?" France said with a smile. Then he slowly started to guide himself into the manger.

In response, he just took a deep breath of air as he was slowly penetrated. "I'm no Britannica angel. What did you hit _your_ head on?" At least he was pretty sure, because that would mean he would have wings. Seriously, he thought, could the man go any slower?

"You are always my angel! My angel of loooooove!" He said in a lilting voice. He could hardly hold back anymore, so France just started going faster and faster, until he was practically pounding into the smaller blond.

"Shut your trap and shag me." Along with being strangely open to the idea of having sex with his enemy, England had also become much more horny, but too lazy to do anything about it himself.

Well, if he wanted him to close his mouth, Francis was only too happy to comply. He started humming the tune to Jingle Bells loudly, pausing every once in a while to give a groan. But, when he got to one part of the song, he couldn't help singing it aloud. "Oh what fun it is to _ride_..." As he sang the last part, he gave a particularly hard thrust.

A loud moan floated through the room before England could growl out. "Stop trying to ruin Christmas for me." Because really, there were going to be multiple things each year that reminded him of this and it wasn't going to be a fun situation to try and explain why his face turned red every time he heard someone sing Jingle Bells.

"Aw, and I was all set up to start to sing Santa Claus is Cumming to Town. You know, jerking off while watching you sleep." France gave a laugh at the horrified expression on Arthur's face before leaning down to kiss him on the corner of his mouth.

"... How were you able to raise America's brother? -Whatever his name is." He asked before latching onto Francis' back as he hit his sweet spot hard. "D-Do that again."

"I usually kept those thoughts to myself while raising dear Matthieu. Of course, that might explain why he is so quiet..." France aimed for the same spot over and over, watching Arthur have a Hallelujah below him.

Whimpers were bubbling out of his lips as his prostate was hit ferociously. He could barely even comprehend the answer to his question, he was so out of his mind in pleasure.

Squeezing the cock in his hand a little, Francis glanced down. "Arthur, your Christmas tree is dripping." Thinking up these sexual jokes about Christmas was getting a little more difficult, considering the amount of his brain wanting him to go as fast as he could and cum quickly.

"Take care of it then." England left it at that, unable to say much more. At this point in time, he really didn't care what sexual Christmas innuendo Francis used.

France started jerking his hand again, milking him for all his Christmas juice he could. Sexual Christmas innuendos were the best kind of sexual innuendos ever!

Once again, a loud moan was heard through the room as the Briton's cock was finally rubbed and touched. Really, was it so hard for the other to realize that was what he wanted right now? The movement of the other's hand and hips made England even closer to the edge of release.

Bending down, France started kissing him like they were under a thousand pieces of mistletoe. The eggnog was definitely different than lube, but it seemed to be working just as well. And he could tell that it was getting Arthur quite drunk, an outcome he hadn't even thought of.

"If you value your life you won't stop moving until we're done." He mumbled pathetically; too drunk and pleasured to be able to have any weight behind his threat. He still would be upset though if he were to stop. For some reason, he was compelled to look down at France's head, where he was kissing his collar bone and neck repeatedly. He didn't say anything; instead opting to watch silently save for a few breathy moans.

"I would" Francis kissed a little freckle he found on England's neck, "not stop" He gave a little nip on the hollow of his throat, "for all the" Moving his hand so he could grasp Arthur's neglected one, he moved his mouth to one of his nipples, "turkey in the world." He finished, taking the nub into his mouth.

England cut off the moan by biting his bottom lip, squeezing the hand in his unconsciously. "Good," He moaned wantonly after that as his nipple was sucked fiercely and his prostate was hit again. Really, at this point his mind could only concentrate on all the pleasure he was receiving despite all the little things that would have normally aggravated him to no end. Having sex with the frog being one of them.

Groaning on the brink of climax, France sped up the pace of his thrusts and his hand, his inner lover needing Arthur to cum first. He made sure to angle his thrusts to England's sweet spot harder. By the sounds the other was making, he could tell it was working.

Squeezing around the shaft inside him, England groaned out, "I-I'm gonn-ahhhh cum!" as a warning before climaxing between their two bodies. He could feel France continue to move inside him as he quietly whispered the other's name as he was brought down from his orgasm.

Reaching his own orgasm as he heard England moan his name, Francis gave one last, powerful thrust into the tight entrance, spilling his seed to mix with the eggnog. "Ah, Arthur, mon cheri." He panted out, catching his breath. "Merry Christmas." He mumbled, pulling out and falling on top of his cute little blond nation.

Letting himself breathe for a moment, he then pushed weakly at France. "Merry Christmas to you too, you fat oaf." Once he was beside the other nation, he continued to mumble, a light blush still on his face. "I swear every year you gain more weight around this time of year."

"Which is why, around this time every year, we need to have as much sex as possible, so that I can work off the rocks you call Christmas biscuits that you make me eat." He said, nuzzling his face closer to the proud Englishman. "So how did you like your present?"

"It could have been better..." Arthur muttered, wanting to try and sound like it wasn't as amazing as it was. The stupid frog's ego would just get unbearable if he said that.

As a thought came to his muddled head, he quickly looked up, almost taking out Francis' head in the process. "Is there any more eggnog left?"

"Well yes of course, but it is, uh..." He said, going under the covers to inspect England's ass, where there was now eggnog and cum leaking out of it. Francis poked his head out of the covers. "I don't think you would want any of it. You are usually against it when I lick there..."

Not too drunk to have not get what France meant, his eyebrow just twitched as he specified. "I meant in the container."

Smirking, the Frenchman got the container from where he had left it and looked inside. "Oui, there is. Why? Not drunk enough?" He asked bringing it back up to where the blond was lying.

"Never." And with that, he took the container out of the Frenchman's hands. The lid was quickly taken off and England pushed Francis onto his back. Once he was laying back with one eyebrow arched, Arthur then tipped his hand so the creamy liquid went onto the other's chest. Then before he could say anything, he leaned forward and licked the spiked eggnog off it.

Moaning slightly as that pink tongue lapped up the fluids from his chest, Francis looked down at him. "Perhaps I should get some more for tomorrow." He muttered, considering how much England seemed to like it. He smiled as his tongue ghosted over one of his nipples.

Instead of answering him, England sucked some of the eggnog into his mouth. Bringing his head up, he looked Francis in the eyes and then grabbed his face rougher then he wanted and brought their lips together. He waited a few seconds before letting the alcohol laced liquid seep into his mouth so that they could both taste it. "That's your gift, frog."

Licking his lips, France smiled. "And what a tasty gift it was." He pulled Arthur towards him and they both crashed down onto a pillow. "You must love me so much to give me such a gift."

"Believe what you will." Not that he was saying it was true or false at this moment. "If you really wanted to give me something nice, you could have gone with shaving your stubble. Or staying away from me all next year." Still, he allowed himself to get cuddled, and even wrapped his own arms around the other's sweaty body.


End file.
